Beyond and Here’s the Same

I’m going to make a leap of faith

I truly want to try

No stopping at the early train

Stumped by the ticket price

 

The boundless courage I now crave

Is an empty wooden horse

See me standing in the parapet

On the other side of course

 

I yearn to dive into the lake

Just give me one last day

I’ve got to write some words down

There’s stuff I need to say

 

It’s easy making switches

So simple cuffing love

Ripping into pieces

Then giving it a shove

 

My mother has a vision:

Her son securely sown

She’d give up her horizon

Her love gave me the strength I know

 

So before I go beyond the known

Before I blacken skies

I’d like to see how love can grow

A love might melt this ice

 

I’m willing to let go in mind

Untangle every root

You kissed my cheek a thousand times

A thousand kisses made me mute

 

Fire before me dances

Flames have bellowed in this life

Courage has been a stricken stranger

A bedraggled and broken waif

 

Surely faith will be rewarded

This spirits’ hungry hole

Leaping without looking

Finding strength by letting go

 

I crave that strength, I rot to pass

I waggle on my leaf

Whilst nature rummages her craft

Excelling without need

 

Soon rook will land and catch my eye

One day she’ll bring me silver

Enough to pay the price of life

Together we’ll drink water

 

The faith it takes to leap

Is somewhere down the ground

No palace stands where we begin

No heavenly holy town

 

I share this hole with worms and moles

Embedded in black soil

Breathing in such nutriment

I rejoice inside Earth’s coil

 

To leap, to sacrifice, to dive

This desperate will to leave

In tiny steps and gestures

Life lives whilst love lets weave

 

I’m standing still, I’m crying

Not getting on the train

There is no requisite or theme belying

Beyond and here’s the same

 

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An Angsty Apathetic Anger

Struggling to keep up

our Earthly pausings, commas at comets

 

a Deep field of darkness

Entrancing as a ring and unpopular

Circled by a pack of megalomaniacs in training

Unbribable and fierce

 

Their cheques are lean!

 

Our suffocated semi-punctual promise

is the raging of a purple stripe

Across the deck like children fleeing oil

the wandering orb collides with a forest-like air

Cowing at pentangled light we gloat

 

Forked eyes at ruined masts

Swaying jogging murderous crowds released in pens

their Detrimental links lie on unread pages

like we call a father Father, until he reeks or flaps

 

our Naked joint of shoulder ripens in the wind

Faking it on mumbled loves, a reel

 

Naturally forceful with glances

Chopping wood is fencing them

in grey yet florid openings

our Supple arm in a tremorous meeting, callous concrete fibres

Pacing and directed by a kind bright grand Condor

Aping looks ungiven as we pass

 

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It’s Possible to Gun at This One

A shower I could have, or a flood

All white, composed by kind minds

and a fluid meticulous gathering of emotion

 

If she walked among us, I might cry

were it not for the mole on her chest

Though one day we could pummel glass we chose not to

 

So once the jacket goes on, once the label gets placed

A riot of fire cackles and we glance on, energised

Punctured by her own corner

 

These roofs you’ve stared at

Mercilessly hoping they’d change, it’s a career in buckets

My new blue tunic, if love was food you’d have no place here

 

I am an epic leg up cajoled by her election

A thin vein of pigment stranded among such very plain skin

as to a ghost, it’s possible to gun at this one

 

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I Leave Myself Like Horses

Having tampered with your skin

I know now how you taste

The flapping of your fingers

My tongue, your writhing body must baste

 

‘Yield, and turn your back on me

before this folly gets called out

Growl with purpose, our relapse

is surely borne of self-doubt’

 

Or if it’s not, you’ve found the chance

A path through knives and curtains

If so we make a mutual choice

Are we daubing or unfurling?

 

I leave myself like horses

I wrangle with my stye

Collecting up a catkin mousse

You’re raw and kind, you pry

 

‘Not yet’, I know you heard me whimper

No forcing course of shoulder

To largo, lent and lethe I lean and lean!

My bravest at a smoulder

 

You fossick at me, you flay the fear

I collect at moving corners

My life a truss of leaving

So cackle as per your order

 

We rally by the grape’d and naked

You show me where to fuck

The knowledge of your cummings

drifts, my temper is your truck

 

It’s corrosive now and only glue

I’m tied in, a flaw or something like a fleck

And the sun, Oh the sun

It’s worth a word before I kiss your neck

 

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My Nosferatu

A strange and callous eye fell in

Insect fingers clacking gently

She whistled reeds and ceased to breathe

hiding in the grass

Her torso itched so

Silent prey, we pray she will remain

A milky bright light pricks skin in licks

another flapping mammals’ curdled squeal

Riveted amphibious yodels interrupt us

her hunter cracks the frost

 

Embers offer an odorous thought

Elephantine fear, that which will not sway

Collared by it, weeping blooded lip

she totters down an edgy cast

to run? to crawl? to slip? to fall?

Or simply sweat (without our beads)

 

But i’ve a violent wish to slip a disk

If he wills it she will excuse herself from danger

then the yarrow’s yellow splay comes around

depicting oestrogenic thunder

 

Fangs have gnawed this wood before

she knows a boneless touch called hunger

Relinquishing her grip to breathe

Corrupted sellotape-like prise

underdone and dangling

 

This kiss resents such natural bloodless ardour

Thin skin relents to spent and lonely men

Gracchus slapping mottled thighs

Daubed and nought are undertaken

Rippling folded feet don’t dance

Don’t rib the eye, these kinds of failings come

 

A coma rubs the forest floor

Decay connects to decor daintily, lice amongst the fern

She ran that day the fangs indented

Slippered marble hands left aloft, one anticipated flourish

my Nosferatu, clubbed and coffered

Rinsed in densely ignorant tones

A walking wing, an eye on a string, a finger at the mast

 

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In October Morning

Putting out onto the highway, with an engine underneath

I realise I won’t get very far

There’s a finger on the road and that old picture between my teeth

What tells the story of a night beneath the jar?

 

We’ll be living on the land and making every moment count

We were making love a million times a day

The dogs all bark’d and bit and bay’d and roll’d round in the dunes

We made out on the sands of Elephant Bay

 

With one smile we make a grab for skin, we’d call what we have love

If not for the rigour mortis on our eyes

I had the next door neighbour when you went up to the house

She promised to agree with all my lies

 

Now it goes on without wanting to, it fixes to the steps

A promising companionship of compromise

No questions asked, no rally to the cause of one another

Hand in hand, two heads stuck in each sigh

 

Onto other things I guess, I always knew you’d balk

Our seven seas in tatters and a roar

Copying the charts to tell the currents we move under

Laughing at the captain’s empty drawer

 

I love an empty cage and yet I lose my way so quickly

Thinking about the fucks and sucks of sorrow

The chain is strong I drag along, expecting no horizon

No finger in the arse, no pouted hollow

 

And the gangrene in my arm is a full on stench, salt did not work

Saliva drowns the cockroaches that linger

The rope I’m tied to connects to a stye, I’m the man I scuppered

Our marriage is a molten pot of laughter

 

A rolling ocean hopes my brain directs the earth beneath me

Before I meet the water without air

I’ve cursed this rotten sea with my breath, I’ve wrestled with her titan

Still love commends a rogue to deep despair

 

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Well Met my Wall

Fear your ragged mind

A wanting I should slight

It’s shiver on the Ouse

Once tempted not to alight

 

It could, I can so should

If not for the whine

The sky’s all blowing, bright blue nodes

Something undefined

 

On course to know I want you

A laughing gait instructs us

Courage is locking

Phlegm corrodes the wheel

 

Touch before the moment crumples

Otherwise I’ll go

It’s not that arms can’t reach you

It’s that they shiver uncontrollably

 

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In Canopy

We read it at a step, I think I chased the ruddy coal

Mucking in and off the steps by bout or by bowl

Several things like buzzard stings or polyphonic claws

Epinephrin surging through the rivers, fjords and shores

 

Limping for four empty heads the wily ones turn red

Posing on an oily canvas, stripy light through trees long dead

The fun we had whilst washing wishes, windows shut too tight

Crumbling fortunes dissipate in a fantastic light

 

Eastings at a junction, ruthless pointings up a roar

Man’s time sapping joyous longings, rigour to the core

Flakes of crispy sunlight flip a rushed right royal stripping

Estuarial energy colours conical cloud clippings

 

Resting at a junction, flowers gently kiss more skin

Gold-topped shivering sparkled green on brown

I’ve known you all my life, I couldn’t hack a swathe away

Missing you has somehow paved a saving grace

 

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I Held Her Hand

Hunting a bye-law that will let me terrify you

something Hard and fought for

I wriggled about, I slid

 

So to my morning, calling

it is untenable this flapping, trapping, copper Life

Nature flicks us by the chromosome

she chucks blooded Earth into our sacks

may be we overturn

 

I will go to the river

and I will learn to Fly

I will strap myself to Water

I will pry

if it drains me at the source, I will live

 

Exiting, the Sun imparts one final slaughterous carafe of irradiated and crepusculous light

no longer, my Beachy Head

no more, my liver’d Lung

a walk to work will not suffice

 

these off-licences crap stringy arses

Pencil legs drag bottles, onward

o’er yonder hill

 

What about Aeroplanes?

A thimble-full is the runner?

no, no… No longer

we may not be Evil, be sure there is callousness

in us

 

I held her hand

and I refuse to leave now

I know the taste

 

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An Autumn I remember

Watching upstairs, from as child

Wishing masters upways

 

Haggling with my brother, smiling

Knowing size is payday

 

Heffalumps and bloody spears

Corridors that whisper

 

Manky patios to clear

Pocket money’s keeper

 

Skeletal leaves are scattered, whirling

Stark against the mud

 

Smell of rugby’s rutted floorings

Catheters in hoods

 

Such closeness is vicarious

A child wakes up, it’s winter

 

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